I am a fun-loving dedicated wife and hardworking mama of two. Not only do I work full time, but I do it from home. Lord, help me!
I like to write about my experiences of being a working mom, as well as sharing some of my trials and triumphs. It may not always be pretty, but I promise my stories will be light-hearted, make you laugh, and possibly even teach you something.
Thank you for stopping by!
|Posted by Angela Caban on October 6, 2014 at 11:15 AM||comments (4)|
Death is inevitable. Yet why is it that the loss of someone you love always showers us with a range of emotions? We may desperately try to avoid the pain with these emotions clouding over us. Clinging to what comforts us the most, feeling like we have no other choice but to accept that this is life and that we are grateful for the opportunity God has given to have loved in such a large capacity. Other days we have anxiety and feelings of helplessness hanging over us, feeling angry and not wanting to remember those good times you once had. They bring pain, a pain so great that you literally lose your breath. Your stomach is in pain and you wonder to yourself, “What are they feeling? Where are they and do they feel the same emptiness I do?” – you simply can’t imagine living without them, they have been a part of you since day one.
Despite the range of emotions we feel, grieving for a loved one helps us cope and heal. The intense, heart-breaking anguish that we feel indicates that a deep connection has been severed. Possibly one of the most painful emotions we will ever experience, yet necessary.
In September of 2013 I lost my maternal grandmother. A very short five months later, I lost my paternal grandfather. This left me feeling as if I no longer had any structure in my life. How did losing two of the most important people of my life mean I had any sense of anything? I had also never experienced any loss prior to this. When I was 6, my mother lost her father, my grandfather. Not that I don’t count this loss, I remember him very much, however I did not process this loss in the way I recently had to. I had 30 years of my grandmother and grandfather, not one moment of my life did I live without them there, not one moment. Imagine my surprise when I realized that being an adult means losing so much and just having to deal with it, that it is a part of getting older.
I write this with a knot in my throat and an ache in my heart. I most likely will always have that feeling of emptiness. I will look at my children and continue to tell them the stories of my wonderful life, how united my family always was and remind them how much they were loved.
You feel guilty for moving on, but my children require that of me. Going forward doesn’t mean forgetting about the loved ones that have died. Enjoying life again doesn’t imply that the person is no longer missed. Piecing together your shattered emotions doesn’t mean you your loved one. It simply means that your grief has run its course.
Has my grief run its course? Not yet. With continued prayer and guidance, I know my heart will heal.
|Posted by Angela Caban on January 4, 2014 at 10:05 AM||comments (2)|
Why do we anxiously await the arrival of a New Year? Is it in hopes of starting over, a fresh start to keep us looking forward to something in the New Year? That's fine. But have you ever thought about why you are making a resolution in the first place? Many want to better themselves or perhaps prove a point that they can change and do better. The start of a New Year does not have to be your starting point.
Have you ever thought about time and what it represents? A clock measures time. No matter what day it is in the year, time will keep moving, time will pass. Why wait for the New Year? You can change any day, any hour and any minute. Time is what you make of it. I am in no way knocking those who want to change and make resolutions, I am just opening up the thought that the pressure we put on ourselves is not necessary. You can change at any time.
The fact is no accomplishment in life will ever be enough to fulfill our constant pursuit of happiness. We might enjoy reaching the pinnacle, but after the thrill subsides, we’re back where we started, wondering what to cross off the list next.
So, resolve not to make any New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, let us change our perception from a negative to a positive. We need to find our own delicate balance about ridding ourselves of stress and pressure. We all have our own method. The key is motivation here and now not tomorrow. Make it easy; cut the shackles that bind us to doubt, negativity and perfection.
Establish a balance between giving and receiving - physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. No more lists, guilt driven promises to change, or over-thinking the obvious. Simply, see yourself as happy and new. Begin with this beautiful visual affirmation of yourself. You are continuously being reborn to new possibilities - not just once a year.
|Posted by Angela Caban on August 27, 2013 at 2:55 PM||comments (0)|
It is a beautiful morning as I look out of the window of my office space. We have lived here for 2 years already and this has to be my favorite part of the house. A room that is for me and me only. Minus the small play area in the corner for my daughter, my office space is put together nicely, everything is always organized and in its place. This is the only way I can get work done.
My name is Angela Caban, and I work from home.
Why do I work from home?
I have been given the amazing opportunity to not only write for a living, but also run my own consulting business from my home. This also makes me a partial stay at mom - my daughter is not in school yet (she is 18 months), my son goes to school full time (second grade.) So on top of working from home, I also need to stay on top of things here at home with the kids.It can be hard at times - but I think that is the easiest part for me.
My home has never been cleaner – which is odd for me being the very organized and clean person I am. My home is never cluttered, there are never clothes waiting to be washed in the hamper, and you will never find a plate in my sink – I am one that takes pride in keeping a clean home as well as making sure that if there are any unexpected visitors, I have nothing to fear and nothing to worry. I blame this on my OCD - not diagnosed formally, but a diagnosis from my family and husband, my whole life.
I often describe working from home as a blessing in disguise. I do manage to get work done, however I always find myself stressed about "clocking out" in time to get my househld duties finished. (I am my own worse enemy when it comes to getting work done...)
When thoughts get in the way...
I have always been a very productive person - I don't know the meaning of procrastination. And no, I do not in anyway suffer from ADD. So why do I have trouble focusing on my work sometimes? I blame it on the work from home curse...
It seems that the downstairs wood floors sometimes get more attention than the computer upstairs with a list of items to tackle each day. Because at this point I am polishing them until I can see my reflection. Working from home comes with set of distractions that many don't realize, I know I didn't.
#1: The telephone - Why is it that I find the need to pick up the phone each time it rings. If I am working I forget that technically "I am not home", therefore I should no be obligated to answer any non-work related calls.
#2: The television - The television is a great love of mine, but if something good is on - I will get sucked in. So to avoid this, no television in the office and no t.v. time during working hours. Case closed.
#3: People - This is my biggest distraction. And not because I make it one, but mainly because people think you are home, therefore you are not doing anything. I have had to explain numerous times to the same people that just because I work from home DOES NOT mean that I have the time to step away from my office. Respect my working hours, please.
#4: I am never off - I work for myself, therefore unless I totally unplug myself - I feel like I am always on the clock. Being my own boss is a challenge, I am hard on myself and never let up. Let me know if anyone has tips to stand up to the boss? hehehe...
#5: OCD - Well like I mentioned above, I have a serious cleaning problem. I can't work when the house is messy, and since the house is NEVER messy (I take pride in that), I always find something to do. I am working on my cleaning issues, I promise.
So regardless of the challenges I face on a daily basis, I enjoy working from home - I get to do what I love and get paid for it, sweet!
This is my home office, complete with a play area for Leah...
|Posted by Angela Caban on July 6, 2013 at 7:35 PM||comments (0)|
Raising a baby can be overwhelming, especially if your partner is away on duty such as military service. As a new mom, you need to adjust to new schedules, demands, etc. in order to meet your baby’s needs. That being said, I have compiled a short list of tips to help new moms survive the early years of their baby.
If there’s one thing I’m sure about raising a baby, it’s that you never know what to expect. Instead of taking chances, it is best to be prepared all the time. For instance, “when you leave the house, make sure you are equipped with an extra change of clothes for baby, plenty of diapers and wipes, an extra towel, pacifier and a bottle of milk or formula in case she gets hungry earlier than you anticipated,” SheKnows.com suggests.
Listen to your gut
Nobody knows your baby more than you do. Martha Sears, Katie Allison Granju, Ayun Halliday, Peggy O'Mara, and other parenting book authors may give you some good advice on how to take care of your baby, but at the end of the day, not all of those things apply to your situation—they are just there to guide you. It still boils down to your personal instincts as a mother. “If it feels wrong to let your baby cry, then pick them up. If you want to rock your baby to sleep and cuddle them while they sleep, then go ahead,” says Discovery Fit & Health. The site adds, “if it feels right, then it usually is right.”
Find time for yourself
Between feeding and making your baby fall asleep, do activities that can help you release stress afterwards. One popular example is bingo. There are a great number of moms nowadays who visit CheekyBingo.com to take part in their offerings, whenever they feel stressed out from their normal parenting routines. This is not surprising given the fact that bingo is a fun game to play, plus it has many benefits to one’s well being, including stress reduction.
McGill University has conducted a study on this matter, and concluded that online games and a stress-causing hormone called cortisol are indeed correlated. Their results show that when people play bingo and similar games online, their cortisol levels drop significantly. McGill researchers concluded that this is because people are so engrossed with winning the game, it makes them forget about the stress of being a parent.
This is a guest post by: CheekyBingo.com
|Posted by Angela Caban on July 3, 2013 at 2:25 PM||comments (0)|
I can't believe I made it. I never doubted that I would, I guess I am just surprised at how fast the time passed. Just yesterday I was writing about the "Bumps in the Road" and today that road ends.
On June 28, 2013, I graduated with my Master's degree in Human Resources. Going back to school was a long journey that started with the activation of my husband's Army National Guard unit, and ended with him safely home and now on a "temporary" break from serving his country.
I fell in love with HR back in 2004, shortly after saying "I Do" and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life. HR is more than personnel records and conflict management, it is about the relationships built and the overall feeling of making a difference. This is a field that I am passionate about and that I love.
Now that I am done academically, I am not really sure what I want to do. Friends and family warned me that I would miss being in school, and with not even a full week of being out of class I can say, they were right. My identity as a college student, then graduate student have been apart of me for the past 4 years. Now what?
I have had the privilege to work from home these past 4 years, watch my children grow and be the involved parent I have always wanted to be. But this won’t last forever, I will eventually send my youngest daughter to school and that will leave me with the desire to go back out into the corporate world, where I feel I truly belong.
Until then, I have already accomplished my biggest goal; graduating. I have had the wonderful opportunity of creating a brand for the HUN as well as my consulting business taking off. I am happy and very much blessed.
But I guess no matter how much we succeed in life, we always seem to go back to that one thing we truly love…
|Posted by Angela Caban on August 1, 2012 at 12:00 AM||comments (0)|
Recently, the Department of Education decided to do away with the subsidized portion of loans for graduate students. This news hit me like a ton of bricks, and I had to find out what other options were available to me. Would I need additional funding? Would I qualify for a grant or perhaps a scholarship? Unfortunately, grants are not an option for graduate students and the fewscholarships I found, were past the due date to apply. So back to sqaure one!
I have had friends tell me, "Oh just drop out and continue again once you can afford it, it isn't worth putting your family in debt". Luckily, I have a husband who prefers his wife to have her MBA and being in debt than to not have it and be in debt anyway! :-)
I have decided to dish out the extra money that the loans are not covering for two reasons;
Reason one: I have been in school for going on 4 years once I graduate with my MBA in June of 2013. I consider that to be an amazing accomplishment being that the normal college student getting their Bachelor's degree is in school for 4 years (thank you accelerated program!). While in school for my Bachelor's I was working a fulltime job, raising a toddler and going through a deployment. Lack of funds is not going to keep me from my goal! I promised myself on graduation day last October that Iwould keep on going until I reached where I wanted to be, my MBA.
Reason two: Yes it is costing quite of bit of money, but the example I am setting for my children makes it all worth while. I want them to see mommy excel and show them that if you set your mind to something, You can make it happen!
I love being a college student, but am looking forward to being COMPLETELY done with it all in June. What's next for me? Maybe a P.H.D? Only time can tell...
|Posted by Angela Caban on July 30, 2012 at 12:00 AM||comments (0)|
So life as a mother of two has been hectic, especially since I am writing, managing a website and finshing up my Masters degree. Life is anything but dull, and who has the time for any extras?
I often sit back and think of the days where I had spare time, what did I do to pre-occupy myself? I watched tv, read, cleaned, went out shopping, hung out with friends and did a lot of eating out. Is that all I had to look forward to? I guess at the time yes, but shortly after my 20th birthday I knew I needed more in life. Yes I married at 20, and people thought I was nuts for doing so. I have always been a old soul and never the one who was doing the "typical teenage things". Nothing wrong with that, and NO I don't feel like I missed out on anything. If anything, I gained more than I could have ever imagined.
My days are now filled with to-do lists, endless homework, changing diapers and getting on the floor to play cars with my little guy. How can I compare that to anything? Yes my husband and I still have fun, we make the time to spend together and between my business trips and his military schedule - we always make time for a date night. Seriously - you have to at least once a month, for your own sanity!
|Posted by Angela Caban on February 27, 2012 at 11:00 PM||comments (0)|
March 1st is my due date, yes that is this Thursday and I can't believe it! Actually, I can. I have been so overwhelmed by the thought of being a mother of two that I just want my little one to get here and put me to the test. I know that sounds horrible doesn't it? But besides being anxious in meeting my daughter and finally being a family of 4, I am anxious to see how I do as mother, wife, student and working woman. Will I be able to handle it all? I put too much pressure on myself, I know that and the people that know me are always telling me to relax and not stress the small things. But the small things to me are what keep me going. I am not one to sit still when I have down time. My idea of down time is watching a movie while either folding laundry, writing or working on a work project. I need to have the constant feeling of multitasking - there is no sitting still for me.
It is hard when you are used to having everything perfect, yes I consider my home perfect as well as m ylife. I don't have a mess in my house, ask my friends and family that pop in. I find pride in that - some people sew and make things, I keep my home clean and tidy. Where is the harm in that? I have a sink free of dishes, no piles of laundry and the fear of "unexpected guests" never plagues me. Perhaps this may seem a bit OCD to you, but to me life runs smoother if things are organized and in their place, okay maybe that sounded a bit OCD. What can I say? I am a Danny Tanner!
Am I insane to think that things will continue to run this smoothly as they have been for the past 8 years? Yes, but I am confident that no matter how nuts things get here in the next few months - not only is it all worth it, but it will still be perfect tome. My family and life couldn't get any sweeter than it is about to get.
So with only a few days until we meet our little angel, I sit here writing because my house is clean ,all my school work and writing is complete and I can't sit still. But that's okay because it keeps me going, wouldn't change a thing about that!
|Posted by Angela Caban on November 8, 2011 at 10:50 PM||comments (0)|
After sharing with you about my recent graduation many may be thinking what I will be doing next? Well there is alot so brace yourself...
Preparing for our newest addition to the Caban family has proven to be one of the biggest projects in this house. We recently moved in May and the crib was put away thinking it would be another year before we would need to use it. Well it is now sitting in the laundry room downstairs, ready to be brought up and built for our little girl. Yes, did I mention it's a girl?! We have some major re-arranging of rooms to do and some light painting, so the deadline to get this all done? January 2012 - just a month and a half before she makes her debut!
Having my Bachelor's doesn't change much for me since I am attending graduate school. Is it hard? Not so much hard just a bit more time consuming. And even though I am taking classes part time, it feels like I am in class full time because of the excess work. It is all worth it though and I have my children who I think about constantly when accomplishing this.
The Homefront United Network is going stronger than ever. I am so amazed at just how well the site has been received by others. As we almos treach our one year anniversary I am reminded of all the hardwork and struggle it took to put this site together. It was worth it all! With that being said there are so many projects we are working on as a team that I would love to share. But I promise that soon we are going to be able to reveal all the wonderful things coming for 2012.
Writing is also going well as I continue to contribute weekly to the Veteran Journal as well as many other projects. I have however had to turn some writing projects down due to the fact that I am starting to notice my lack of speed. Yes pregnancy does this and it's normal. No worries! I will pick up after the baby is here..I hope! :-)
What does this mean for the book? Not much other than I am still plugging away at trying to get it completed before the baby is born. I am not making any promises since my family is always a priority and lately I feel as if my son has more going on in life than we do. This of course does not count the numerous times that my husband has been away lately for training - the Army loves training! Being alone makes it easier yet harder - anyone know what Imean?
Well that is just a quick update on things and I have a feeling that these next few months will be a blur...guess I am glad I wrote it down so I can remember! :-)
It's a girl!
|Posted by Angela Caban on May 13, 2011 at 11:50 PM||comments (0)|
The past few weeks have been hell. No that is not me being dramatic, it literally was HELL! Between moving, writing, attending the 2011 MilBlog conference and finals - my life has been turned upside down and I have had many teary nights.
But now all is settled and I am slowly getting back into the swing of things. We are so happy in our new home as well as our state. I feel as if the past 2 years in our old home were a blur because we were not happy being there. One of the happiest days of our families life was when we found out we were moving, it was a dream come true!
So as you know, I am not a blogger so I will not bore you with random ramblings about my life. I just wanted to give you all an update! And the photo below is of my office, the room to fix up. Anyone want to help? ::P
Catch you all soon!